Among my friends, there is a lot of talk about "healing". (Spoiler alert - this is going to be a bit 'woo-woo' so scroll on by if that doesn't interest you.) We use the term, but lately I've been thinking about this concept and something my guides told me some time ago.
My view is that, as young children, we receive information about ourselves, our families, and how the world works from those who raise us. If they have any insecurities or other ways they feel they are "less than", then they pass that along unconsciously to their offspring. We decide that we are too tall, too short, too green, not green enough, too poor, too rich . .. whatever . . . and then we go out into the world and create scenarios to convince ourselves we are right about that. I remember, as a child, having huge issues around body shame -reinforced, of course, at home where I was frequently criticized because I was larger than they thought I should be. In school, when I could see that the other girls were huddled and tittering about something, I was sure they were talking about my size and my feelings would get hurt (if bears noting that I was OFTEN wrong about that!). I went on to create an adulthood which included every diet that came along with no sustained success. I mention all this as an example of how innocently these things are created in our minds. My parents were only trying to help me be as happy and successful as I possibly could be - they weren't trying to hurt me. They loved me - this I know. But, it was firmly imprinted in my mind that my body not appropriate AND that I should source my opinion of myself from the outside world.
Fast forward to my years on the spiritual path and my work to 'heal' these incorrect ideas and make new choices. Through meditation, I reached a level of peace where the mere suggestion we are only our bodies seemed silly. Through that, I came to realize that "i" am my soul and my energy field, not the body that densifies and presents itself within my energy field. Or, put another way, I am WAY more than just the body. At first, I was angry at those who had instilled in me the belief that my body was inappropriate or important. But, when I looked closer, I realized that they had no 'malice aforethought.' They loved me and were only trying to help me. So, I forgave them and thanked them for their love. It took some more work and meditation and time for me to forgive myself for holding this incorrect belief for so long. This included some grieving about letting go of this particular belief and the person I was when I held this belief. I had to recognize what emotional juice I was getting from being a person with this issue and what was having this issue allowing me to avoid - after all, I never had to find out if there was anything attractive about me as long as I was focused on what was "wrong" with my body.
So, in my way of thinking, I healed this self-perpetuating
'wound'. I was someone with a scar on my psyche that had healed. I was elated and have been much happier ever since. I give my body the amount & type of food and exercise it wants and then I don't worry about it. If the body starts to feel less than optimal, I make a change. If not, we're fine. And, I refuse to allow anyone else's opinion on the topic to sway me from my peace.
Then, in meditation one day, the guides said, "We celebrate that you have healed this issue, but true healing comes not when the scar is clean and healed, but when the scar disappears altogether as though it never happened."
What? That's possible? I stuck that one in the back of my mind on the "Not Likely in this Lifetime" shelf and forgot about it.
Turns out "forgetting about it" is an important part of knowing that you have completely healed an issue. Some time later, after a few more 're-visits' to the issue, something happened that reminded me of an incident from my adolescence. The amazing thing was that I realized I had totally forgotten about the whole incident until this occurrence and immediately let it go.
In that day's meditation, I was told, "NOW you have healed that issue in your life. It is possible to be one to whom it never happened."
Written By Joy Bandy
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